Surviving and Thriving Are Not the Same Thing
Surviving cancer or other life-altering adversity is extraordinary.
It deserves celebration, gratitude, and perhaps even a little disbelief that we made it through everything we were asked to endure.
But surviving does not automatically mean we are thriving. Through reflection, play, laughter, meaningful conversation, and community, we create opportunities for people navigating cancer and other forms of adversity to experience themselves as more than what they have endured.
Medical treatment may save our lives, but it does not always show us how to live those lives afterward. When treatment ends or becomes less consuming, we may still carry fear, uncertainty, exhaustion, changes in identity, and the lingering question:
Who am I now?
On June 16, 2026, I marked ten years since I was diagnosed with Stage IV colorectal cancer. I am profoundly grateful to be here. I also know that survivorship is more complicated than simply being declared finished with treatment or hearing that a scan looks good.
The body may move forward while the mind remains watchful.
Why Survival Mode Can Be Hard to Leave
Psychologists describe a natural human tendency called negativity bias. Our minds often notice, remember, and react more strongly to threatening or painful experiences than to pleasant ones.
This tendency has a purpose. It helps us recognize danger and protect ourselves.
After cancer, however, that protective instinct can become very loud.
An unfamiliar ache may immediately capture our attention. An upcoming scan may overshadow an otherwise lovely week. One difficult medical appointment may remain in our thoughts longer than ten peaceful moments.
Our minds are not failing us. They are trying to keep us safe.
But negativity bias may help explain why surviving does not automatically feel like thriving. Even when something good is happening, part of us may still be scanning the horizon for what could go wrong.
Thriving Is Not Toxic Positivity
Thriving does not require us to ignore fear, grief, anger, uncertainty, or pain.
It is not pretending everything is fine.
It is not gratitude used as a demand.
And it is certainly not insisting that people affected by cancer remain cheerful, courageous, or inspirational for the comfort of others.
Thriving allows the difficult truth to be present while gently making room for another truth, too:
Fear may be here, and so may love.
Uncertainty may be here, and so may laughter.
Grief may be here, and so may meaning.
The hard thing may be real, and something beautiful may still be real beside it.
That is not denial. It is a fuller way of seeing our lives.
Learning to Notice Life Again
Positive psychology does not ask us to erase difficult emotions. It helps us explore the strengths, relationships, meaning, and positive experiences that support wellbeing alongside them.
Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden-and-Build Theory suggests that positive emotions such as joy, interest, love, and amusement can broaden our attention and, over time, help us build psychological and social resources.
A moment of laughter does not undo a diagnosis.
A playful experience does not eliminate scan anxiety.
But these moments can remind us that cancer is not the only thing happening in our lives.
They help us practice noticing life again.
The Space Between Surviving and Thriving
This is the space in which Let Us Play™: Thriving With & Beyond Cancer was created.
Let Us Play™ is not about asking survivors to perform happiness. It is an invitation to reconnect with parts of ourselves that may have grown quiet during survival: curiosity, creativity, spontaneity, connection, and joy.
Through reflection, play, laughter, meaningful conversation, and community, we create opportunities to experience ourselves as more than patients or survivors.
We are still creators.
We are still contributors.
We are still becoming.
And we are still allowed to play.
Play may look like an improvisation game, painting without worrying about the outcome, telling a story, moving to music, laughing with someone who understands, or simply becoming curious about what might feel good today.
These experiences may seem small, but small moments matter. They interrupt the idea that life must remain organized around fear.
A Gentle Practice
When negativity bias begins to narrow your attention, try pausing and asking:
What else is true right now?
The fear may be real. What else is true?
Perhaps someone loves you.
Perhaps your body carried you through another day.
Perhaps the sun feels warm.
Perhaps you laughed this morning.
Perhaps there is one small thing you are looking forward to.
You do not have to replace the difficult truth. Simply allow it to share the room with the rest of your life.
More Than Being Alive
Surviving and thriving are not opposites, and thriving is not a permanent destination. We may move between them many times.
Some days, survival is enough.
Other days, we may feel ready to reach toward connection, purpose, creativity, laughter, or joy.
Both experiences belong.
My hope is that cancer survivors are given more than congratulations for staying alive. We also deserve support as we learn how to inhabit our lives again.
That is why Lee Lee’s Life Lessons exists.
That is why I created Let Us Play™.
Because medical care may help us survive, but thriving often grows through meaning, connection, courage, creativity, community, and permission to become fully human again.
There is life beyond survival.
There is room for every emotion.
And even here, joy still belongs.
Come as you are. Thrive as we go.
Research Notes
Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology, 5(4), 323–370.
Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218–226.
Rozin, P., & Royzman, E. B. (2001). Negativity bias, negativity dominance, and contagion. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5(4), 296–320.
